I Know I’m In There Somewhere:

A Woman’s Guide to Finding Her Inner Voice and Living a Life of Authenticity (Gotham Books, 2003.)

“It is every woman’s birthright to live from her true self. Yet instead, women live their lives standing outside themselves, always ready to judge their feelings, their thoughts and their bodies from an external standard and find themselves wanting.”

Women today, more than at any time in history, can do anything and be anything they want to be. So why do so many women still feel like they “lose themselves” somewhere along the way?

Psychologist Helene G. Brenner, Ph.D. has devoted her career to finding the answers to this question–and the solution. In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Brenner shows that, aside from all the real-world pressures affecting them, women are responding to an inner psychological legacy, shaped by thousands of years of women’s experiences, that tells them to accommodate, adapt and mold themselves to serve others at their own expense.

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Instead of trying to “improve” themselves and change their thoughts and belief systems, Dr. Brenner shows women how to become grounded in an unshakeable source of self-esteem and integrity – their own Inner Voice.

Filled with lively case studies, surprising insights, loads of practical advice and 27 simple yet powerful “innercizes” to help you access and live from your inner voice, this “self-acceptance” book offers women a whole new way to relate to themselves, improve their relationships and create the lives they truly want. Let I Know I’m in There Somewhere show you how to get back in touch—or stay better in touch—with your true self, so you remain in the “driver’s seat” of your life.


What people are saying:

Wow! I Know I’m in There Somewhere has actually truly saved my life and possibly my marriage. I think it should be required reading for every parent and teenager, boy and girl. I’m 38 with four children. I had two abusive marriages and have now been married 10 years to my very non-abusive husband.

When my youngest child started to go to pre-school recently, I discovered, like many of the women in your book, that I was very unhappy. My husband and I had become just parenting partners and we had no relationship. I started to believe my unhappiness was my husband’s fault and that I didn’t love him anymore. I happened upon the book and picked it up because the title was exactly how I felt.

By the end of reading the intro I knew the book was for me. I realized I wasn’t unhappy because my husband was controlling, but because my inner self was NEVER allowed to develop. I have 38 years to catch up on. I’m working on finding my inner voice now, and my husband is totally supportive. It’s been a Godsend.

— E.R.


I’m currently halfway through I Know I’m in There Somewhere. I’ve started putting little stars next to the passages that I see myself in and there are stars on every page! After reading only the first few chapters of your book I realized that I had found what I was looking for.

The Five Pathways to the Inner Voice and the ABCs of the Inner Voice are so easy to understand and put to use. I found them incredibly insightful when applied to myself and I’ve recommended the book to all of my friends and acquaintances.

— H.G.


I always thought that something like “the truth” doesn’t exist, but for me, I Know I’m in There Somewhere simply feels like the essential truth about what is going on in a woman’s soul.

Reading it, I often had the impression of somebody holding me protectively in her hands. It felt like being in a shelter, very safe where I could expose my real self, look at it, accept and learn to love it. Reading I Know I’m in There Somewhere, I felt fully understood for the very first time in my life. I would love to share what I got out of the book with my friends but unfortunately, it is not published in German. I wish it could be, because I believe it would be a big success in the German speaking countries as well and it would help – I’d even say rescue — many women here.

— G.Z., Munich, Germany


As a clinical psychologist of 32 years, I’ve read scores of self-help books and this one might be the best ever for women readers. I Know I’m in There Somewhere is real help that comes in the form of engaging case studies, useful advice and must-know insights gleaned from Dr. Brenner’s years of experience as a focusing-oriented psychotherapist. I regularly recommend this book to women clients who tend to lose themselves in relationships in order to accommodate or please others. Rather than dispensing the usual bromides or short-lived positive self-affirmations, the author guides the reader along the path to real self-acceptance where a true self is both embraced and expressed. I find particularly useful the “Six Steps for Powerfully Positive Wanting,” which teaches women to express their feelings and desires without shaming or distancing the men in their lives. This book is a respectful and insightful guide dedicated to helping women find their authentic inner voice and, with it, lasting self-acceptance and happiness.

— Stanley Wilson, Mill Creek, WA